Host Aliah Wright:
This episode of Social Work Talks is brought to you by DCFS, the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services. Welcome. This is Social Work Talks. I'm your host, Aaliyah Wright. Joining us today are Steven Graham, actor, writer, and director of the film, sheep Dog, and Dr. Tara Conno. DSW LMSW. A doctoral prepared psychotherapist whose work as a social worker within the VA system inspired one of the film's central characters. Sheepdog explores trauma, healing and post-traumatic growth through the lens of a combat veteran and the clinician who supports him offering a rare and authentic portrayal of social work in practice. In this episode we'll discuss how lived experience clinical social work and storytelling intersect, what it means to portray trauma responsibly on screen, and how films like Sheet Dog can deepen public understanding of the role social workers play in recovery, resilience, and community-based healing. We'll also talk about why accurate representation matters, especially for veterans families and the clinicians who support them, and how storytelling can reduce stigma and encourage people to seek help. Thank you both so very much for joining us today.
Steven Grayhm:
Wow. Thank you for having us. What an intro.
Aliah Wright:
Right? Thank you. You're welcome. Let's begin with you Steven. What first compelled you to tell this story and why was it important to center trauma recovery and the clinician patient relationship at the Heart of Sheep Dog? And of course, why the title?
Steven Grayhm:
Oh boy. Alright, so the first part of it was as a little boy I grew up with my grandfather's stories of he was a POW in the Second World War. He was a Polish farmer who was held captive on his land and had endured torture and imprisonment for five years and was liberated eventually by the American and Allied troops. And I think that as a little boy, and I look at it now as an adult of how unique it was that he was sharing his stories with me. And my mom used to say, he doesn't tell anybody that. He won't even talk to me about that. So that was sort of woven into the person, I guess, that the man I was going to be. And then I had this chance encounter in 2011 with a tow truck driver. In 2011, my car broke down just three hours north of Los Angeles and I called AAA and they sent out the local guy.
And on that drive into Los Angeles, he began to open up about all the challenges he was facing in his life, the issues he was having in his marriage, being a father of three, his financial hardship. And then he began to share all the different medications that he was on that were tethered to his traumatic brain injury and his post-traumatic stress from his service. And I sat in silence and I just listened. And throughout this conversation he kept saying, I can't believe I'm telling you this. I've never told this to my wife to even a therapist. And I got back to LA and I thanked him for getting me home safe. And I looked into his eyes and I could see that there was something very cathartic and freeing to perhaps tell a stranger this. And that was the seminal moment that I felt this sense of duty, this responsibility.
And that summer I set out on a nationwide road trip to essentially uncover the truth, to find out if there were more men and women like him that were perhaps suffering in silence. In that summer, I was extremely fortunate that Dr. Consolino took a chance on me and was willing to let me into her world at the va, at the Detroit Medical Center. And that opened up my world and completely changed my life. To answer your question about sheep dog, the term, it's a metaphor from retired Lieutenant Colonel David Grossman's book on Combat in that there's a passage where a Vietnam veteran talks about being the sheep dog, protecting the flock and confronting the wolf. In our story, we take that metaphor further and we look at it as protecting the flock being your family. And the wolf is the wolf that is at your door.
Aliah Wright:
Wow, that's incredible. I really loved your film. In this movie you play a combat veteran who wants to disappear from life by self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, something many people, veterans and civilians alike can relate to after trauma. What did this role teach you about avoidance, accountability and the role community plays in healing?
Steven Grayhm:
Oh boy, what a great question. I'm so glad that you asked that because it's important for folks that are listening to understand that this is not a post-traumatic stress movie. This is a post-traumatic growth movie. I had to take our audience to the dark and quiet places of trauma to show them what I saw firsthand. What's unique about our film is that there's not a film that one focuses on post-traumatic growth, but also picks up with our veteran 10 years after their last deployment. There's so much life that's lived in that time. And so I wanted to ensure that sheep dog didn't fall into the typical Hollywood tropes that we had seen so many times in films that depict our men and women that have put on the uniform. And again, just speaking to Dr. Con's faith in this endeavor opening me up to my world and to allow me into those rooms to see firsthand, it was mind blowing to see that folks like her we met 14, 15 years ago, and to see our unsung heroes that are showing up every day to work that are truly trying to make a difference in the lives of others.
I stood in the cafeteria at the VA medical Center and I had a corpsman point across the room to Dr. Consolino who wasn't aware that we were, he was referring to her and he said, that lady right there, that lady saved my life and it stuck with me. And it was really, really, really important too, to tell that in our story,
Aliah Wright:
Dr. Constantino SheepDog places a trauma therapist and the work of healing at the center of the story. But before we get into that, can you tell us why you decided to become a social worker?
Dr. Tara Consolino:
I sure can. I actually knew from a pretty young age that I'd either end up pursuing photography or psychotherapy, and you might be like both are really about the same thing. For me, it's about seeing the world through other people's lenses and honoring their stories. As I got older, that curiosity turned into something deeper for me. When life gave me my own experiences with pain resilience, at some point I realized, okay, what isn't breaking me will shape me into being a better therapist. I also grew up with a Marine Corps father. So when I was looking at where to go, do I do social work? Do I do psychology? What tipped the scale for me was, and this is not knocking any sort of discipline, but as I'm hearing the different stories from his friends fellow Marines, different conflicts how much distrust there is in the system in healthcare institutions, the government, so many people carry wounds that can make it difficult to ask for help.
And so for me, the differing factor, the different factor for me was that social work spoke to me because of the values, the dignity and worth of the person, integrity, meeting people where they're at. And we were trained historically not behind a desk or waiting for somebody to be ready. We were trained in homes, in communities, in crises where quite frankly, pain doesn't wait politely for an appointment. In psychology and social work, we both hold compassion, but we carry it differently. Psychology is often more of a neutral analytical stance that blink slate theory, whereas social work is more relational, it's more direct, more grounded in real life. And that for me is where my practice lives in that space where I'm not always the most professional individual you've met, but you get a real human presence. And that's where social work felt like the path that was home for me.
Aliah Wright:
So what aspects of social work, practice and trauma recovery did you hope the film would convey, and why do you think authentic representation matters for veterans and the broader?
Dr. Tara Consolino:
This is a question that I've been awaiting to be asked quite frankly, because too often when people hear a diagnosis such as post-traumatic stress disorder, it comes across like it's a life sentence. And okay, well this is who I am now and life as I knew it is over. And so when I just found the screenplay again the other day for Sheep Dog, and I see all my notes and I see all the comments and the compliments it delivered in what we see every day in our practice, Steven captured that treatment works, that healing is possible. And even when someone doesn't believe it for themselves or they don't see it, that's what the film portrays. Our patients don't have to feel hopeful when they walk through the door. We just need them to be willing to take that first step. And authentic representation matters because when people do finally reach out for help, too often they're standing in the middle of pain and chaos and isolation and they don't see a future. They only see this overwhelming riptide of what's hurting them right now. And so when a film gets it right the way sheepdog is, it gives people a mirror instead of a stereotype. They have a sense of what they're experiencing isn't permanent, it's not shameful. And for veterans specifically, this can be the difference between staying silent and finally feeling safe enough to say, okay, maybe healing's possible for me too.
Aliah Wright:
So my next set of questions can be answered by either of you, so feel free to dive in. What did you want audiences to understand about trauma recovery that films often miss or oversimplify?
Steven Grayhm:
Oh boy. I mean, it was imperative that to take an audience on a two hour journey, that it had purpose and it had something to say and without ever wagging a finger at our audience, it was just trying to inspire those that might be suffering in silence. One, to commit to doing the work and us acknowledging, as Dr. Conno said, that taking that first step to walk through the front door can be the longest journey for a lot of folks. And we understand that I'm coming from a very honest place that I only put on the screen what I saw and what was shared, and I've seen it. I've seen those folks that have traveled that long road and have gotten to that place. And as Dr. Conno said, you don't have to come through the door necessarily being hopeful, but as long as you're willing to take that step and just take that chance towards that, I've lost unfortunately too many people on this journey that even inspired my screenplay and that we're fighting day in, day out. And I've had the fortune also to see the journey of folks that were able to perhaps find the strength to embark on doing the work. And I really wanted to make a film that could possibly save lives
Dr. Tara Consolino:
If I might chime in myself. Films in my opinion, especially when I'm looking for them as a therapist, to be able to show to illustrate points, films to frequently oversimplify the healing process in real life hurt people or hurting people are the ones who hurt people. And so resilience isn't about being tough enough to avoid pain. It's about learning how to carry it differently. And that to me is where social workers come in. We help people recognize their own strengths, strength-based initiatives even when they can't see it yet themselves. This movie illustrates the dynamics of therapy that I think is so difficult to portray. A metaphor I often use is therapies like a metal ladder, and if an individual is suffering, that ladder is based in the flames of hell so to speak. And therapy can be hard and it can cause more pain. But as you climb further up that ladder, the longer you're in therapy, that ladder gets hot. And when you first start therapy, it's incredibly painful and you might jump off and you might get back on reenter care, but as you go up the rungs, it gets cooler and cooler near the top, and so your suffering alleviates the further out of the depths of hell that you are. And that is where I feel like Steven captured this in how he wrote and portrayed the character arc that Calvin goes through in this movie.
Aliah Wright:
This episode of Social Work Talks is brought to you by DCFS, the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, Illinois DCFS is hiring Make a Difference for Illinois children and families with competitive salaries, excellent benefits, career advancement opportunities and tuition reimbursement. Bilingual Spanish and English professionals are in high demand and may be eligible for additional pay. Learn more and apply today@dcfsjobs.illinois.gov, the therapist character is inspired by real social work practice within the VA system. How does consulting with clinicians and listening to the lived experiences shape the way you portray therapy and post-traumatic growth on screen? Dr. Cons. And then Steven, I want you to answer that from the perspective of the patient of her patient.
Steven Grayhm:
So for me, I was very fortunate that I was able to sit in on various sessions and just see the process for what it was in its most raw form. I sat in on PTS orientation classes where folks were coming for their first meeting, all very adverse to even being there, and you could feel it in the room and Dr. Conno who would come into the room like a fish out of water and have to make a breakthrough literally within minutes to keep folks in that room to commit to going the distance. I didn't know going into it, I was obviously very idealistic and I was like, I just really wanted to be able to hold the mirror up to show an audience the truth of how this all sort of works. And after some time, I mean the research I did was over years.
I mean, I would go back and forth to Detroit and spend time with Dr. Conno over years and get to meet with folks that had begun the process that had committed to the process, had perhaps straight off their path. And so I wanted to tell yes, a realistic story, but I wanted to also show it sort of for better or for worse of what it really is. And so we can talk about the different therapies that we show in the film. So there are obviously so many and so many more that have been sort of added since even making the film, but I saw a high efficacy of EMDR treatment. We show in the film prolonged exposure, we show tapping, and I wanted to be responsible in that whatever I was going to portray, that I could wholeheartedly stand behind and go, there's a great chance if you do this, you can achieve this. So that was sort of my perspective. Dr. Con, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Dr. Tara Consolino:
My thoughts are, this is one more reason why I ended up choosing social work over psychology because quite frankly, you did meet me 14 years ago. So when I was younger in my career, younger person, who I am today is different than who I was then. But what I loved about being a social worker and my ability to connect with people is that I could be authentically me. I was able to say in some of these groups where I was coming in and they're looking at me, I'm only four foot 11, I'm probably less than that now. And they're looking at me like I'm this little woman. I was younger, I was a different race for many of them. And what in the world are you going to do? Why are you here and why should we believe that you care about anything that happens to me or my community for me where social work and the values, I started to go, okay, I'm really feeling anxious about running some of these groups.
I'm just going to own that. I would go in and say, you know what? If this is how I'm feeling, how are you feeling? Let's talk about the elephant in the room. How am I with your perceptions of me going to help you? Let's break those down. And so that's where the authenticity that the VA allowed me to be as a clinician social work allowed me to do within the guidelines of our code of ethics. And again, sadly, Stephen captures a lot of the authenticity and tones it down a little bit in that screenplay, which I appreciated for that. But no, you captured all of the elements though, that were genuine, that were authentic, that are exactly why when I'm effective with people, it's not me being effective. It's simply allowing myself to be human and human to human. Let's work through this process and this journey together.
Steven Grayhm:
Man. Wow, I appreciate you saying that because that encapsulates exactly the experience and what I saw. And just to touch on that point, your willingness. I used to say this to you, how is some six foot four combat vet with a big long beard coming in you four foot 11, and you're going to tell them? And I put that in the movie. I actually said, my character says to Virginia Madson, so the courts think that you going to fix me. And I said that to you and you said, I'm not here to fix you. You are here to do that. That's not my, you have to own that. And I thought that was so crass at the time and so raw, and I was like, oh, but that you can't build trust if you don't tell the truth.
Dr. Tara Consolino:
Exactly.
Steven Grayhm:
And if you're willing to do that, and I thought that was so risky. We would go out to a local dive bar and unpack the day after working together. And I thought that was so risky. And yet that's what these men and women appreciated, that somebody wasn't going to sit across the table from them and preach to them and kind of read pointers off a list or something that they were going to connect and have that human experience because whether they realize it or not, that's what they were seeking, that they weren't getting in their own lives, in their community. And that is how you build trust. And that's what we show in sheepdog.
Aliah Wright:
Wow, this is amazing. The film's incredible, and it's really, really been resonating among the social workers who have seen it and who have commented on our social pages when we've been discussing this topic. One thing I want to ask though, and the film doesn't shy away from death as an uncomfortable moment, especially across generations of veterans, why was it important to show healing as messy and non-linear rather than inspirational or fixed? By the end?
Dr. Tara Consolino:
This is where I felt that Stephen clock, that sheep dog needed to honor the truth, not the polished version of recovery, but the honest one and two, frequently again, when we pretend people are fixed, we erase the courage that it takes to just keep going, showing all of this, the mess, the ups, the downs, the losses, the wins. This is what makes hope real and tangible in that healing. It's not linear. We're not in a straight line. This is a path all of its own. And sometimes we would prefer for it to be surgical, but sometimes it's more like birdshot. That for me, the authenticity that he portrayed in Calvin's story and so many within the screenplay, this is for me why it was important to Steven. I'm hoping it was because he was hoping to honor the truth, in my opinion.
Steven Grayhm:
I appreciate that you saying that because it was one false note and it's a house of cards. You have to be very careful about that. And to be honest, it was a tremendous responsibility. I had been trusted by, not just by Dr. Conno, but by hundreds of men and women across the country that had served but gold star family members. And that had allowed me into their living rooms, into their worlds. And so showing that authenticity, I don't think we were going to be able to do what my hope and my ambition was with the film, which is to heal and offer hope and inspire. I don't think we can achieve that if I wasn't willing to show the truth is as I was shown as I experienced it.
Aliah Wright:
Now, Steven, you've said that if the film saves even one life, it's a success. What do you hope viewers, especially veterans families and the clinicians who support them carry with them as the credits role?
Steven Grayhm:
If you're a veteran and you're suffering in silence, that it inspires you to find the strength if you can, to do the work. There's 5 million veterans right now in our country that have not accessed their VA care that they have. And just to address, not every veteran has been deployed or has been in combat or even has trauma, but there is care there. And with that care, there's also community. And that's what I want folks to walk away with. If you're a civilian, to have a greater understanding of really what that commitment to service and sacrifice is, because it's not just for the veteran, it's for the families that also endure that. And I'll just share with you, we don't throw that around as a log line to say if we can save a single life at this film. I haven't shared this publicly, but I will tell you that a veteran reached out on our opening weekend from Lansing, Michigan, and he had spent the last $12 he had on a piece of rope that he bought at a hardware store.
And he went down to his local park and he was going to, as he said, end it all right there. And in that moment, one of his friends called and he happened to answer his phone. And the friend said, come on over. And they sat and talked in his friend's basement, and that friend told him about sheep dog. He went and saw it that night and he wrote to me, brother, you forever changed my life. Complete stranger Like that is a heavy, heavy responsibility. But I take it with such reverence that if it's able to do that, if it's able to do that in somebody's life who's a complete stranger, then we're doing what we set out to do from the very beginning, from that very first road trip. And why someone like Dr. Conno, a complete stranger to me, would take a chance because we were all fighting for that same mission to impact people's lives in that way.
Aliah Wright:
So the film addresses heavy topics including suicide and loss. For viewers who may be personally affected, how do you approach these themes responsibly in storytelling, and what messages of hope or support do you hope to convey?
Steven Grayhm:
Well, I first would like to say there's nothing gratuitous in the film. There's the typical, as I say, the Hollywood ideations of what it is, is just that I feel like it's dealt with very responsibly and carefully. But again, I had to take the audience to those places so that they truly understood to be able to where there's darkness, there's light. I can only share with you what I'm seeing firsthand. Last night we did a screening here in Dallas and it was a full house of veterans of all generations and conflicts and gold star family members, mental health professionals. And the thing that's really important to share with folks that are listening is that my hope with this story was that it's not just my character. It's not just Virginia Madden's character who plays a trauma therapist. There's an ensemble of six characters. And I wanted folks to be able to relate with at least one of those characters, whether it's you're a Vietnam veteran, your military spouse, your civilian former hockey coach turned first. But most importantly, to show that it takes a community and that you don't have to do it alone and that it's okay to not be okay. And I think that that was really imperative to show and to share
Dr. Tara Consolino:
Honestly, this script, especially reading the various iterations of it, I'm in awe. He didn't develop it from pretending that it was easy, the way he mirrored the stories of the veterans. It was surreal for me to see the script, watch the movie. And for me, I was able to recognize which veteran stories were woven into which parts of the film. I think that it's even more essential that the beauty of this film is that if someone's able to recognize themselves in the story, Steven, the production team, and all the clinicians who went into doing this project with them, people don't have to do this by themselves. There is a path forward. And if you can't see it yet, that is just fine. You just need to be able to connect with someone, whether it is a therapist, a clergy person, a barber, I don't care. Find someone outside of yourself to connect with and say, I don't feel like I'm in my square. I feel broken, and I don't know how to move forward. That when we're talking about suicide and loss is kind of the essential thing. You can't handle this alone, and there are communities of people out there willing to step up so you're not isolated.
Aliah Wright:
Is there anything else either of you would like to add?
Steven Grayhm:
I would just like to take this opportunity to just truly thank, not just Dr. Conno and her commitment, but I'll share this. Tara, I don't think I've ever told you this, that I remember dropping you off one day. We had worked all day together and maybe you went back to your apartment, and I remember watching you walk to your door and we had endured a pretty heavy day. And I thought to myself, it was very emotional. I remember behind the wheel and had tears in my eyes because I was like, will anybody know that this exists? That this unsung hero that's coming to work, not getting rich, doing it, that cares this much and is going to go home to her little girl is like a single mother and know what she's coming back to the next day, next day. I'm like, will they ever know?
Will they ever know? And I know that you don't do it for that. And for anyone that's listening, thank you. Thank you so much because you are our final protective line. You truly are. I've been working on this behind the scenes. I truly hope that we can potentially pass a bill to mandate care, mandatory care that our veterans will receive when they come out of their service. And again, it doesn't have to be just trauma focused. It can just be as part of that transition into civilian life to let them know that that brotherhood or sisterhood, that community you felt in your service, it is still waiting for you there in your civilian life that you don't have to feel isolated or disconnected in your own experience. And I hope to God that perhaps we can achieve that. And I think sheep dog, for me, for us, and for this community is the first step towards that
Dr. Tara Consolino:
One. I just, I'm speechless on that and I don't even know what to say because I do feel seen by you. And quite frankly, I think to tie it back, I think a lot of people are going to be seen, feel seen by you in watching this movie. I think it's interesting that you've referenced in this interview a couple of times, darkness. And for me, even within my practice of darkling psychotherapeutic, we talk about how so much of life is trying to outrun the dark, but this is where healing actually occurs by learning how to sit with it. And again, your story of post-traumatic growth, it's proof that we can find purpose from our pain and that treatment works. People change. We simply have to just show up anywhere to be able to learn. How do we become our own light in what feels like an insurmountable darkness? And this, I cannot speak enough about this movie and honestly, the work that Steven put into it and our community of clinicians that supported you during this time.
Aliah Wright:
Thank you both so very much for taking the time out of your busy schedules to sit down and talk to social work talks. Dr. Con and Steven, it's been a pleasure speaking with you about this phenomenal resonating film listeners. If you've seen Sheepdog, let us know. And thank you for tuning into this episode of Social Work Talks. As we engage in the conversation about the film, which is in theaters now, and we'll be streaming soon, you can visit the show notes section of our podcast page to learn more. Again, thank you so much for listening.
Steven Grayhm:
Thank you. Thank you so much for having us.
Aliah Wright:
Thank you.