Transcript for Episode 62: Ending Domestic Violence in the Military and Beyond

NASW Social Work Talks Podcast

Greg Wright:
Welcome to Social Work Talks. I am Greg Wright. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In this episode, we will learn more about the White Ribbon Campaign and what is being done to end domestic violence in the military and in our communities. Our guests are Lelia Jackson, Senior Strategist at the Office of the Chief of Staff at the Veterans Administration, Kevin Holzinger, a social worker at the VA in Kalamazoo, Michigan and Diana Mancera, Director of Membership and Programs at Jane DOE Inc. in Boston.

Greg Wright:
Welcome to Social Work Talks, Lelia, Diana and Kevin. How are you today?

Lelia Jackson:
Fantastic. Thanks Greg.

Kevin Holzinger:
Yeah, thanks a lot. Doing well.

Diana Mancera:
Thanks for having us, Greg. I'm doing good.

Greg Wright:
So I read some there that indicates that every minute 20 people are victims of domestic violence at the hands of an intimate partner. And this is for all of U.S. But I was wondering in the military. Is it the same picture there, Lelia and Kevin?

Lelia Jackson:
The military, the VA, we're all part of the greater community, the numbers might be the same. I don't have the stats, but I can tell you that sexual harassment, sexual assault and family domestic violence happens in the military and it happens in veteran status.

Kevin Holzinger:
Yeah, I would agree with Leila. Typically, when people hear domestic violence, they think of physical or sexual abuse between intimate partners. But, domestic violence really can be any number of things separate from physical and sexual violence. It can happen between people that don't even consider themselves intimate partners too. So things like aggressive communication, yelling, name-calling, threats, that kind of thing, manipulation, stalking, those other forms of psychological and emotional abuse, can also be considered domestic violence. So those are also things that happen in the military. And as you stated, it's likely that your listeners or someone that they know, will be, or have been victims of domestic violence in one way, shape or form. So we don't want to necessarily stigmatize the veteran population as having a higher tendency to use violence.

But we do want to recognize that some of the things that they experience. Those things that can contribute to compromise relationship, health and safety. Those things can be experienced in higher proportion in the veteran population compared to the general public. So things like separation from family for prolonged periods of time on deployments, those types of things, common problems from the military service like traumatic brain injury, post-traumatic stress disorder, those types of things. Those things can really affect a person's ability to connect with others. So having the loving relationship that we know all people want and strive for, can be difficult sometimes for veterans. So basically, to answer your question, just like Lelia said, domestic violence is something that's happening in a general public, as well as the veteran populations.

Greg Wright:
Diana Mancera, you are working at Jane Doe Inc. Are you working with families in the military or with a general population there? And also, what are you seeing?

Diana Mancera:
The Massachusetts State Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence, Jane DOE Inc. we ourselves do not provide any direct service to sexual and domestic violence survivors. However, our 58 member programs across the state do. However, a lot of the specifics they use spoke about are actually statistics based on heterosexual, transgender. Folks who do not necessarily identify within the LGBTQ and trans community, that's definitely a statistic that we see tends to be a little bit higher. And we know a lot of the cases of domestic violence and sexual assault go unreported. About 4 percent of lesbian identified women experience domestic violence and almost 30 percent of gay men experience domestic violence at some point in their lives. And the statistic about trans people translate densify folks. It's almost 60 percent actually, that experienced domestic violence and again, just want to mention that this statistics are based on cases that are reported. So just imagine what the picture looks like for a lot of the cases that go on unreported.

Greg Wright:
By talking about domestic violence, it's not always physical.

Kevin Holzinger:
A lot of people think of domestic violence in their mind automatically takes them to physical abuse. But we know that there's a lot of behaviors associated with what we consider domestic violence, aggressive, name calling, I said earlier. Physical as part of it, but the psychological and the emotional and the sexual abuse that can occur, those are also all extreme forms of behaviors that can take place within a relationship that can be considered domestic violence. And so all of those things and anything that can lead to those types of interactions in a relationship, are things of concern. And we want to address those, all of the things, all of the above. And it really, what it boils down to is if it's unhealthy in your relationship, if it's something that can cause harm, we want to address it, acknowledge it, and be able to provide the assistance that might be needed, related to those things.

Diana Mancera:
Another type of abuse that we see probably the least conversation about is Economic abuse. Usually you would have within the couples, you may have a person that is financially stable more than the other person. So that tends to be a form of controlling the significant other. Sometimes if one of the people in the relationship is undocumented or is in the process of getting their immigration status so controlling or using their immigration status as a way to control them and saying, "If you don't do what I'm telling you, if you don't basically listen to what I'm saying and do what I want, I can call immigration and get you deported." Or if the person is the person who has the insurance, for example, through their employee, which that happens a lot within the vet community and military community. Some people say, "Well, if you don't do what I'm telling you, you will not be part of my insurance, or I will take you out of the insurance."

But what we really base domestic violence is power and control, a person having power over another vulnerable person. And this could be in many different situations, but also using their religion or using their LGBTQ status as to outing them. If the person is not out in the community or in the military, for example, if they're not out, the other person uses that as an opportunity to outing them and control them.

Kevin Holzinger:
With White Ribbon VA and in the VA, we do like to acknowledge that domestic violence isn't only between people who consider themselves intimate partners with one another.

Greg Wright:
Lelia, I wanted to find out more about White Ribbon VA. What is that exactly and how does it work?

Lelia Jackson:
White Ribbon VA, was inspired by the international White Ribbon Campaign. White Ribbon originated back in 1991, believe it or not. Back in Canada, some folks were just disgusted at the abuse of women. And they took a stance that inspired folks internationally and nationally in the United States. In fact, I believe there was a White Ribbon effort in about 60 different countries. Now, there are White Ribbon campaigns in a number of States and military bases and stations. But really, White Ribbon is an active public stance acknowledgement that, we won't remain silent as it pertains to domestic violence. And originally it was really focused on women, because as you know, and you've already talked about, the public hears about men and boys assaulting women and girls. But in truth, we know that, according to the CDC about one in four women who experience sexual violence in their lifetime.

There's really about one in 10 men who also experience some type of violence, sexual violence or violence in their lifetime. So because we know that and because we have such a diverse population in VA, veterans female, male, transgender, we wanted to be inclusive. So White Ribbon VA is really a national call to action that we launched actually this month October, during National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Our aim is really to eliminate sexual harassment, sexual assault and domestic violence in VA healthcare settings and VA period and in my community, to promote a positive change in the culture that will allow actions from the pledge to become the norm.

We have a non-gender-specific pledge that we adapt it to the VA that I would love to share with you. But I do want to make this point. A lot of times even myself for years, I would hear National Domestic Violence Month and I would say, "Well, that doesn't really pertain to me because I don't harass people. I don't assault anyone. That's not anything that I would ever do." White Ribbon VA, is opportunity for everyone to take part because if the CDC statistics are true, and if it's true as you mentioned, Greg, that every minute someone is being assaulted, then that means that if it's not me, or if it's not you, that's a victim or an experience of harassment assault or domestic violence. That means that we probably know someone who has been. It gives all of us an opportunity to take a stance, to really make a public commitment, by wearing our white ribbon, but more importantly, making a commitment to never excuse, to never commit or to never really remain silent about sexual harassment, sexual assault, or domestic violence.

Greg Wright:
Diana Mancera, I was wondering, how is your organization implementing White Ribbon?

Diana Mancera:
It takes a village to make a difference and really change the norms that have been put in place, forms systems that have oppressed certain communities, certain genders. So those things have been put in place, but as a community, we have the ability to change those things. So I'm glad that you were lifting that up and changing to gender-based violence versus, or adding the gender-based violence, and including all genders. So I appreciate that VA has really taken a stand on that.

At Jane Doe, we actually have been involved in the White Ribbon Day since 2007. I personally came to Jane Doe about five years ago and I took over our initiative around engaging men and boys about five years ago. One of the things that we really wanted to do in addition to what we do every March, every first week of March, we do a press conference. And we do our White Ribbon Day Conference and events where we bring the Governor, the Lieutenant governor, State representatives and folks in the community that also have a voice and have a role in changing this dynamic.

We do that every year. But in addition to that, we have our Reimagine Manhood Symposium that we do every December, is actually coming up on December 18th. And the 17th, we're doing A Call to Men Institute with A Call to Men national. They do a lot of work with engaging men and boys. And then on December 18th, we're do our Reimagine Manhood Symposium, which is going to be a Facebook live event. So we have done it in different ways, but we really believe that it takes a whole village to make a difference. We began the windows work with our member programs. Again, we have about 58 member programs, then we created affiliates and ambassadors across the state. So at this point we have over 3000 affiliates and ambassadors doing White Ribbon Day work across the state.

Last year, for example, we have gone also sports involved in really engaging men and boys and changing those dynamics because we know that a lot of the folks who are in big leagues are seen as a world models. So we believe the role models could also make a difference in changing those social norms. So last year, for example, we got the Celtics involved, Enes cancer, and I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing his last name-

Lelia Jackson:
Enes Kanter.

Diana Mancera:
...Enes Kanter. Thank you so much. So we got him involved and he's actually one of our White Ribbon Day Ambassador. And he speaked about the role of people who are in sports, what the role that they have to play in changing social norms and changing those dynamics. He has taken a big stand on a lot of the racial dynamics as well as discriminations that he has faced and the intersection of gender-based violence within what has happened in his country as well. So this is something that is not just in the United States as Lelia mentioned, but this is something that happens across the globe. Domestic violence is not uniquely to the US. It's not uniquely to Massachusetts. It's not uniquely to the VA. So we're trained in all different, like what the CDC says and all the different social-ecological models and circles as at the individual level, at the community level, at the social level. So we're trying to hit all of those to really make a difference.

Greg Wright:
Kevin, as a social worker, how are social workers involved in the White Ribbon VA program? And also I heard that NASW chapters are also getting involved in it too.

Kevin Holzinger:
I am a social worker. I am a VA employee. VA social worker. I'm also a Combat Veteran. I'm also a former Michigan Chapter President, so shout out to Michigan NASW Chapter. But I'm just so excited to be a part of all of this community, so many intersections that I'm so passionate about. But yes, to answer your question, social workers are involved in White Ribbon VA, just like the social workers that are leaders in our communities. Social workers are also leaders in the VA, we do have a very strong representation of social work leaders supporting the White Ribbon VA and over a 100 VA healthcare facilities all across the country. We are hoping that we can count on all social workers outside of the VA to take the White Ribbon VA pledge and to ask others to do the same as well. So thank you for having us.

Specifically, when we work on addressing behaviors from a social work perspective, related to sexual harassment, sexual assault, and domestic violence, we're helping to develop the skills that can foster healthy relationships. So the White Ribbon VA pledge is a commitment to taking those action steps for ourselves. And we can also encourage others just to do the same. We know that social workers make up the majority of mental health care providers in this country, and they work in so many more important areas as well.

One of our core values is the importance of human relationships. So social workers must assist with fostering healthy relationships because we know that those relationships are the strongest protective factor against everything that we worry about as social workers. So healthy relationships can protect people really against issues that are far too common for all people in our society, but are especially prevalent among veterans, such as depression, PTSD, suicide, those types of things. So we hope that when someone takes the White Ribbon VA pledge, that they're committing to work on things that help relationships such as communication skills, consideration for others, empathy, all of which we know social workers are fantastic at. So what a great space to fulfill a leadership role, the social workers.

Greg Wright:
What are some positive things that you have actually seen as a result of the White Ribbon Program?

Lelia Jackson:
We actually learned about White Ribbon through Dr. Angelo McClain. He has carried a White Ribbon and his pledge around for years after taking that initial pledge. And he has really been a champion for this work and so passionate about it, and we're so grateful to him for his leadership and partnerships. And all of the social workers that are involved with this effort, is huge. Your work is so important and we know that you're tremendously busy. All of our social workers are always busy and we need them because they are the conduit to a lot of the resources that we are telling our veterans, in our case and our employees about. We have a whole department that has resources for Intimate Partner Violence, we have counselors at our facilities and we want our veterans and our employees to know that there's help if they experience any type of domestic violence right here in our VA hospitals and right on our staff, or even right here on this call. We have professionals who can help and who are willing to help.

White Ribbon VA has been tremendous. Now I understand why Dr. McClain carries that pledge around in his pocket. It's been healing for people. We just interviewed a female Marine who was actually friends with a Marine who was killed by her veteran husband. And this Sergeant Hill, was killed in front of her children and her mother, by her husband. And she had experienced domestic violence for years. And quietly, many people suffer knowing someone who died at the hands of an assaulter, and not being able to know the signs. So I'm excited about this campaign because it gives us an opportunity to talk about how to see the signs. And if you're not sure what to do, who you can go to and one thing we know is, our social workers, they will know what resources to send people to and to give people who are victims of sexual assault and domestic violence.

Diana Mancera:
Once you begin having those conversations within your community, that domestic violence, sexual assault, harassment, stalking is not something that is going to be tolerable in your community. Then folks really started coming out with their stories and their experiences, because they began to feel comfortable. Having those conversations with people that are saying, "It's not okay, what is happening to you. And you didn't deserve to be treated this way." So, just with campaigns like White Ribbon Day and campaigns that really create awareness, it really gives you that beginning conversations for folks who are experiencing this, to find healing.

And that's why you also have social workers to provide that support that is always needed because the trauma that folks are experiencing around domestic violence is not just one time. That trauma sometimes could be for years, for centuries, that people are facing this because, it's a significant trauma that you're facing. So I'm just happy to we were able to connect. Dr. McClain, was and also has been a White Ribbon day Ambassador for many years with us. And I'm just so happy that we were able to connect with VA folks and that you're doing this campaign and let's just continue in this work.

Greg Wright:
What is the White Ribbon Pledge? Kevin and Leila,

Lelia Jackson:
The White Ribbon VA pledge was adaptive from White Ribbon International, and we have our own tailor pledge to the VA. So Kevin and I will read the pledge. I, state your name, pledge to never commit, excuse or stay silent about sexual harassment, sexual assault, or domestic violence against others. Therefore, our promise to,

Kevin Holzinger:
Honor VA healthcare settings as safe and welcoming environments. Recognize that touching, or comments about appearance, or referring to people as "baby," "honey," "sweetie," "stud," "sexy," may make others feel uncomfortable.

Lelia Jackson:
Talk to others in my life about the repercussions of unwanted hugging, touching, or flirting. Give everyone extra personal space.

Kevin Holzinger:
Understand that some veterans and others may have invisible wounds and experiences that I may not fully understand. Lead by example through my thoughts, words, and actions.

Lelia Jackson:
Remember, Every Single Person Expects Courteous Treatment (RESPECT). That's the pledge.

Greg Wright:
Thank you, Diana Mancera, Lelia and Kevin.

Kevin Holzinger:
Thanks a lot.

Diana Mancera:
Thanks so much.

Lelia Jackson:
Thanks Greg.

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